Cinevegas

Summer break? Where? For the past 14 days I've had a staff position at the Cinevegas film festival, celebrated my first father's day and fifth wedding anniversary, attended graduate classes three nights a week, worked on my school's SIP team, said goodbye to my graduating seniors, attended many of the festival parties, and saw the world's smallest man outside the restroom at the Mirage.

The world's smallest man has an entourage and film crew. He also has a personal assistant that carries him around.

Dennis Hopper almost had his face removed by a man with a furious ping pong paddle.

I also saw a nude woman with a 6' weave juggle and eat fire while I ate strawberry anniversary cake with friends. The fascinating thing is that she was really more of a sideshow to everything else that was going on.

I saw a line wrapped throughout the Palms in which people stood for hours in order to receive a free pair of Croc sandals. Crocs are sort of like rubber clogs with holes. Back in the day, if you gambled enough you would get a free steak dinner or show tickets. Nowadays you get cheap sandals at the head of a line.

James Caan upon winning the Icon Award: "...and to my friends and family, please feel free to call me Jimmy, James, or Mr. Caan. There is no need for you to refer to me as "Icon."

I am happy that the festival is over. It was fun but very busy. Every year that I do this I get exhausted and flooded with the reminder that we have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah within a five mile stretch about 10 minutes from my front door. I've heard that we really are not doing anything differently out here in the desert that doesn't go on in many communities across America. I think that is oversimplified and falls into the general statement that Americans in general are moralistic in attitudes while hedonistic in behaviors.

What is community? I've lived in two places my whole life and both are extreme ends of the spectrum. If Gwen and I stay out here we will especially have to focus on stressing to Lola that this is not like most places and that outward beauty is irrelevant compared to critical thinking and independence. I met a student who has parents that moved out here from Pennsylvania and then had kids. She tells me that she spent family vacations back in PA and that helped ground her and expose her to the world outside of Vegas. Anyway, this girl now attends Yale as a film student.

I am looking forward to sitting around the house with Lola and Gwen. I hated being away from my family so much these past couple weeks but I had committed to the job. Lola's 3 month photos are done! Lola's 4 months old today! Gwen will be posting another update with the photos soon.

This is poorly written and unorganized. I really only wanted to post some photos.

The above photos are:
1. The Director's Suite at the Palms where many of the festival after-parties were held.
2. Me hamming it up on the red carpet at the honoree party.
3. Gwen and Amanda hamming it up at the honoree party.
4. Planet Hollywood from the poolside at night.
5. City Center construction site.

Life at the Marshall house

Just a quick update. Lola continues to grow up too fast. She is an amazing and lovable little girl. She is grasping the concept of sitting up and really does not like any other position. She smiles and talks all the time. She has started to laugh, but stops mid laugh without warning. It is really quite cute, but I can't wait for her to "belly laugh". She likes herself in the mirror. She loves toys that swing above her head. She hates tummy time, but does really well for those 5 minutes that she is on her tummy. She was eating well, but has started to quit eating mid feeding and refuses to eat anymore. She still sleeps through the night, which I thank God for and if anything, I ask for this little peace each day to continue. She makes the cutest sounds when she eats. She rubs her eyes and pulls at her ears when shes tired. She whines when she wants our attention. She is a happy, content little girl and so loved.

I have returned to work, which I do enjoy. Lola is doing really well with her sitter. I was able to return to a 4 day work week and have Wednesdays off, which is a nice break in the middle of the week to spend with Lola. Sean continues to be busy with CineVegas, which is an annual film festival in Vegas. He is also in summer school at UNLV. He will be home with Lola beginning mid July and until school in the fall. We have to look for day care this fall, which will be hard, but a necessary evil.

By the way, we bought our first video camera, so as soon as I learn how to download the videos on the computer, you will all get to see Lola in action.

No good stories to share, but Sean really is the better story teller.

Warning: more personal than usual :)

When I look back at the beginning of this blog - October 2007, which started as a way to stay in touch with family and friends who live far away, I did not anticipate the changes to come. My life has become so much bigger than just me. I now have a little girl who depends on me for everything. I worry about teaching her all of the right things, keeping her from the evil of the world, and shielding her from hurt. I worry not only because she will look to both Sean and I for guidance, answers, and for comfort, but also because I do not have it all figure it out. There are still things in life that I struggle with, relationships that I wish were mended, and places I wish I had seen. A persons identity when they have kids seems to stop or at least is put on hold and fairly suddenly (because one can never emotionally prepare for a child), one has to redefine self. I guess I am in the process of redefining myself...To be continued...

Lola's first plane ride...

...and trip to Michigan to meet more of her family and friends. The journey for her started at 3:30am on Saturday May 24 when we got her up, put her in her car seat, and drove to the airport. She does not usually start her day until around 8am, so this was a rude awakening for her. She handled the flights really well and slept the majority of the time.












We spent one day with my family at my mom's condo where it was a zoo of wonderfully cute and playful little kids. It was good times and good eats. Lola felt grass for the first time.









The other day we spent at Sean's parents cottage on Gun Lake. Lola met more of her family and was held by her little girl cousins. Lola also met many of our friends.









Although the trip was short and there are some people we did not get to see, we are thankful for the time we had back in MI and look forward to our next visit.

So, do you like being a mom?

This is the question that almost everyone asks me these days. To be honest, I LOVE it, but who would answer this questions with - "well, I don't really like it...", some people may feel this way, but not many would say it. In all seriousness, I was one of those people that did not want kids. I went through a phrase (yes, I will call it a phrase because that is what it turned out to be) where I was so adamant about not having kids, I was sure I'd never had one. You can ask my close friends and family and they will tell you the same thing. Now, I could not imagine my life any other way. It is indescribable the feeling that your child brings you. I look forward to every time she wakes up and sees me, gets excited and smiles at me - her mom. The instant love I have for her is amazing and unlike any other love you could feel. Yes, I love my husband, family, and friends, but the love for a child is completely different and truly unconditional. Maybe I am part naive since my daughter is only 12 weeks old and hasn't ever said she hated me or got in trouble, but I would hope to believe that this type of love will never change. It is simple, real, and perfect in its raw existence. To everyone who is contemplating being a parent, I get it, but the gift a child brings to your life is simply that- a gift and no one can tell you what being a parent feels like until you are one.

Hope everyone is well and we will see you all this weekend.

Nevada Democratic State Convention

I took the above photo from my hotel room in Reno. I booked a room at the Sands the day that I was to arrive. The Sands is about the equivalent of an Arizona Charlie's. The room was absurdly large, clean, had marble tables, and an "ok" view. The rest of the hotel was filled with drunk people and drug dealing teenagers. The staff was courteous and I even met a 27 year old waitress from Dearborn. I never did figure out what brought her to Reno.

I should back up, I got to Reno by way of van. I waited until the last minute to get a plane ticket and every flight was booked. I contacted the Obama campaign and they set me up in a van with seven strangers for $40. Vegas to Reno is about an eight hour trip. The people that I traveled with were very cool and had good hygiene. There were two teachers, two government workers, a small business owner, a construction worker, and an accountant. I told my students that with my luck I would get stuck in a van of gassy old ladies. I guess I got lucky and they were on the "Straight Talk Express."

We arrived in Reno at midnight, I checked into my room, and promptly went to the nearest bar where some college students introduced themselves to me and invited me to sit at their table. One guy explained to me that people in Reno, "love to drink and get into fights." That should have been my cue to leave. About 45 minutes later the guys from my table got up and began a street fight which their girlfriends and myself could see out of the window. The next thing that happened was the girlfriends and random guys jumping out of said window into the street and commencing to brawl. I was left at the table alone receiving dirty looks as if I was one of the troublemakers. I finished my beer, walked back to my dirt ball hotel, got some Arby's, and sat with the servers in Mel's Diner.

The next day was the convention. I took a cab to the Grand Sierra grabbed my credentials and headed inside. I was shocked at how normal the delegates were. I expected to see wild-eyed zealots asking people, "Have you heard the good news?" Most of the people were newly registered voters. The conventions usually draw a few hundred people. This cycle there were a few thousand. It was also surprising to find that the general atmosphere was positive. People were less angry and more hopeful.

1. Creepiest Hotel: The Clown Motel located outside of Tonapah, Nevada.
2. Best Candy Store in the Mojave: Death Valley Candy and Nut Co. This place is surreal. Aisle upon glorious aisle of bulk candy in large plastic bags.
3. Tightest Jean Shorts of the weekend: Large woman from rural Nevada sleeping in a chair at the convention. I thought that there was a major artery that runs down the thigh. I was seriously concerned about her blood flow. Maybe it was a trickle and that is why she was sleeping. I know that this is mean but sleep-squatting in skin tight jeans is also mean.
4. Most Sensitive Person of the weekend: A guy sitting two rows in front of me that volunteered for everything and wept at every speech.
5. Shady Character of the weekend: The crazy big guy that claimed he knew me while we were stopped in Hawthorne, Nevada. I tried to convince him that he had never seen me before in his life but he was not buying it. He had a rubber smile on his face and watched me climb back into the van. He kept asking me if I could, "feel it." I will never know what he meant by that.

The convention went amazingly well. It was the largest political convention in Nevada's history. It was a long day of listening to speeches, walking around looking for go karts, and voting. It was (is) a worthwhile experience to be a part of something historic. The photos below are of Bill Clinton (blurry on purpose), a giant abandoned Hillary sign, Circus Circus, and a gas station in the middle of Nevada.

For those of you in the Mother Mitten, we will see you Memorial Day

Happy Mother's Day (a little late)

I had my first Mothers Day and it was wonderful. Sean, Lola, and I spent the entire day together shopping! I am in need of clothes that fit me as I am still trying to achieve my pre-pregnancy body ( I know, it will never be quite the same, but a girl can try - thank goodness for that 1% stretch in jeans! :) ). We shopped at the outlets, ate dinner at PF Chang's, and had family time. I feel really blessed for my husband, my daughter, and the rest of our family and friends.

We are all doing really well. Sean has finished this semester at UNLV, only to start his intense summer classes. He is looking forward to the end of the school year and his busy summer of Cinevegas and hopefully some traveling. I start work part-time on Monday and go back full-time on June 9. I am trying to savor these last few weeks with Lola as I wish I could stay home with her. I have enjoyed getting to know her. She smiles intentionally, especially when I get her up for the day. I have tried to capture her smile on camera or video, but as soon as she sees the camera, she is mesmerized by it and just stares at it. She enjoys her bouncy seat, which she often will fall asleep in. She is not sure yet about her swing, but we continue to try it once and a while. She loves her bathes and splashes around. She is a good eater and a fairly good sleeper. She has good AM naps, but not PM naps. She does not like to lay down in the afternoon, but she will sleep through the night, which I prefer anyway. We are really excited about our trip home memorial day weekend. It will be short, but so worth it. We can't wait for everyone to meet her. Here are a few more photos.