long. long. time.

Looking back over the lasts few years, I wonder where they went. Having a child can do that to you. I can remember Lola's life with great detail, but mine seems mixed and muddled in between somewhere. Not complaining, just contemplating.

Not much is new. I am still a social worker at a nursing home with the occasional ups and downs. Lola is 27 months. She is attempting full sentences, wants to do everything by herself, and is more stubborn than both Sean and I combined. She is definitely our child. :) Sean has finished his 5th year of teaching and is again, taking classes at UNLV to finish his masters. We have a trip planned to Europe this August, while Lola will be enjoying that time with her Grandparents in MI.

To reflect, the last few years have been good, but not without challenges. I have used my college education as I intended to. I became a mother. I have made new friends. I have seen some new and beautiful places. I have camped and hiked in the mountains, been to the ocean, and even went to Disneyland. But truthfully, since I turned thirty, I wonder what happened to me. I feel lost in almost everything going on around me. I know I am blessed in this life. I value what I have, but sometimes, not enough. I am not proud of my actions at times. I am generally ruled by my emotions and this is not always a good thing. In some ways, I have failed myself and my family. Sometimes I feel like it gets harder to find my way back. Sometimes I do wonder where I am trying to find my way back to. There are parts of my life that have been a struggle lately, but I hope the struggle will bring me back to where I am meant to be.

Those that know me well, know that sometimes I feel this way. Those that don't, sorry. Honestly, I don't often share this side of me for the same reason that others don't - vulnerability. Oh, and sometimes it sounds like I am whining...and it does a little. :)

Maybe I have shared to much this time, but I do feel that those who will read this, will love me anyway. At least I hope so. :)

I will end with a few pics of our favorite little person...

Quick update: Lola is walking now for about that last 3 weeks. She started walking at 15 months and is having a blast. The next milestone is climbing up on the furniture, which is already attempts. She is a happy, sweet natured little girl. She had been sick off and on for the last few months, but seems to be feeling better now. She is stubborn, knows what she wants, and is funny.

Sean's last day of school is Monday. He is done with his students and looking forward to his already busy summer. He will be going to Europe and participating in Cinevegas (film festival) this June. We will be home in July and by the time we get back from this vacation, Sean will be back in the classroom in a month. This summer will fly by for him. He tends to overbook himself, but him staying home and doing absolutely nothing would drive him crazy. He will have Lola at home on Wednesdays, which Lola will love.

I will be doing the same things - continuing with work, while having Tuesdays off, going to the gym, and hanging out with Lola. My life has been stable. No changes. I am really excited about my trip home this summer for 2 weeks. I can't wait to spend some much missed and needed time at the cottage. I miss my friends. I miss the sunsets. I miss the family get togethers. Until July!...

A Day at the Pool

Summer is upon us and we are roasting. We spent the afternoon at at a friend's pool and Lola went swimming for the first time. She loved it and just sort of dangled in her little floaty toy is she moved around the pool and enjoyed a lunch of blueberries and apple sauce.

Lola also started walking today. She had been making steps and would eventually fall, but today she began to lift herself upright and walk places. She accomplishes her little journeys with a big smile on her face and look of determination.

Gwen had a good time and got a pretty nice tan. I have a nasty, splotched burn.

Birthday Weekend

It was a good weekend an excellent beginning to spring break 2009. Gwen got me some tickets to see a pre-season game between the Mariners and the Rockies. Weather was perfect and the game went down to the bottom of the ninth when the Rockies loaded up the bases and hit in a run. On Sunday, I went hiking off of Harris Springs Rd up in the Spring Mountains. Again, the weather was beautiful and the company was good. Yesterday I took Lola up to Red Rock Canyon and took some photos.

All Lola

Lola is one. She had her first piece of cake and with the help of mom, she blew out her first candle. She is very tall at 30 inches and weighs 20 lbs. She has 4 teeth with a few more on the way. She is a happy, funny little girl. She loves to be chased around the house and will follow us around the house where ever Sean and I go. I tease and call her my little puppy as she also begs for food whenever I am eating. She continues to amaze me and make me smile everyday. She has a wonderful personality and is quite silly at times. She had her first mini haircut by having her bangs trimmed over the weekend, which made me feel like she is growing up so fast. We were able to celebrate her first birthday with my mom who came for a long weekend. We had a small get together with our close friends. She is trying to take her first few steps independently, but not quite able to yet. She laughs often, cries very little, and still sleeps through the night. She eats a lot of adult food and seems to really like it. More pictures soon. Stay tuned.

Photos for Home

Good times over the weekend as we head into spring. L. and C. had their birthdays over the weekend and we celebrated appropriately. G.s been busy wrapping up her jewelry party delivering items, settling payments, etc. We've all been loving the weather. Winter 2008 had her last gasp last week and has cleared the way for 70s into the foreseeable future. This weekend is all about hiking and volunteering at NASCAR weekend with the ROTC. I'll be sure to bring my camera.

Busy Underwater Scrappbooking Mowers

We haven't updated in a long time because we have both been busy and have also adopted facebook into our lives. I'm racing toward the end of the school year with graduate work and prepping my kids for their final exams.

Neither G nor myself have ever engaged in scrapbooking, but I know plenty of people that have/do. Blogging is a bit like what I would imagine scrapbooking to be like. G and I have never really been good about our commitments to our hobbies.

I had a dream last night that I lived near the ocean with all of my family. I had flippers but no mask. No snorkel. I searched for the body of a kid that was trapped in a bleached white Volkswagon Thing that a junk ship was dumping in order to create a reef. There was no kid, but I found a palm sized baby seal and a brown leather necklace with an green pendant wrapped around an old nail. I could also breath under water and see very clearly without a mask. When I returned to the beach, the sun was setting, the kid that I was looking for had actually fallen asleep in a pile of towels, and a friendly sea dragon let me use him as a water slide. Giant, true-blue dolphins were jumping in the surf and everything was good. The weather was warm, my hair was somewhere between wet and dry, sand was dried to my feet. That place was perfect and I hope I to go back there someday.

My neighbor is mowing his lawn. He is one of the few people around me that actually has grass on his property. They're a nice family, but why would you have a lawn in the desert?

Martin Luther King, Jr.

When King learned he would be the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, the FBI decided to take its harassment of King one step further, sending him an insulting and threatening note anonymously. A draft was found in the FBI files years later. In it the FBI wrote, "You are a colossal fraud and an evil, vicious one at that." The letter went on to say, "The American public ... will know you for what you are -- an evil, abnormal beast," and "Satan could not do more."

The letter's threat was ominous, if not specific: "King you are done." Some have theorized the intent of the letter was to drive King to commit suicide in order to avoid personal embarrassment. "King, there is only one thing left for you to do," the letter concluded. "You know what it is ... You better take it before your filthy, abnormal fraudulent self is bared to the nation."
-http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/03/31/mlk.fbi.conspiracy/

Happy New Year!

I can't believe that the year is half over and summer will be here any minute. We had a mellow New Years Eve with Gwen going to bed around 11pm while I stayed up and watched all of the happenings on Fremont St from the comfort of my living room. The following weekend I was fortunate to attend the San Diego Chargers v. Indianapolis Colts playoff game in San Diego. That was easily the greatest sporting event that I have ever attended. I also broke the curse that has been following me since 1988. 1988 was the last time that a pro-sports team that I was rooting for won a game. Sure, I've had petty victories here and there on tv, but the last time I saw my team win in person was 1988.

Last weekend was excellent as a few of us guys went to Primm, NV and watched the fights, played blackjack, and went to some outrageous burlesque show.

This week is exam week which means half days and lunch with adults. It also means free time. Last night I went to see Slumdog Millionaire which was outstanding. This weekend it's all horseshoes, beer, grilling, and a housewarming party.

Christmas

Traveling home to western Michigan is always an adventure. A great comic book idea would be that in their secret bunker beneath the Amway the city ghouls unleash pyramid schemes, Blackwater mercenaries, and general sorcery while plotting to keep West Michigan locked away like Skull Island. Flights are scarce, trains hardly run, and the roads are usually bad due to weather or neglect. This time home it was the weather that slowed us down. We spent twelve hours in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport with a very tired and sick infant. Luckily, a friend had taken the same flight as us and was able to help throughout the day. We spent much of our time there walking around the airport mall, listening to ipods, people watching, and sleeping.

Being home was incredible. We were snowed in for the first few days, but still managed to get around enough. Thank you to everyone that made it out to visit. We love you and miss you.

Most of the people that I've talked to since I have been home (NV) always ask with a look of concern, "you were in Michigan? How was it?" I then put on my blue Civil War Union hat, grab my UAW wrench and scream, "Michigan will rise again, by God! Michigan-will-rise-a-gain!"

Snow

This Christmas season has gone by fast. It's nice to stay away from the malls and Walmarts as the holiday fun ruiners and joy thieves shop, shop, shop, themselves into an unyielding and unforgiving wilderness of credit card debt. Gwen and I spent last weekend at some community Christmas event. There were "sleigh rides," train rides, carolers, and free hot chocolate with cookies. It was good to see students working face painting and other service booths.

Today it snowed relentlessly from 8am until about 3:30pm. It made me homesick watching the chunky snow fall past my window. It was surreal watching it all collect on the palm trees. I also felt bad for all the vacationing Midwesterners that had attempted to flee the cold.

After school, I headed home and grabbed my camera, heavy coat , and some boots, and headed to Red Rock Canyon. I hiked about two miles and took too many photos.

The day ended for me at a Lowes, where a mid-1970s Elvis impersonator helped me buy the proper equipment for my shower.

It was a good day today.

Lola's 9 month check up

No shots at this appointment! Lola is now 18 lbs, 10 ounces and 29 inches long. She is a tall, skinny girl. She has cut her first two bottom front teeth and is handling it like a champ. She has her occasionally fussiness, but still sleeps through the night. She is still sweet, clam and happy. She learned to sit up by herself at 8 months and continues to roll everywhere. She is not attempting to crawl or pull herself up yet or walk. She still naps 3 times per day and eats really well. She wears clothes in all different sizes which makes it to buy her clothes. Her personality really started to come out around 8 months. She often laughs for no reason, simply talks to hear herself talk, and squeals in delight. She is a lot of fun to be with. I had no idea that a baby could be so much fun. Either I need to get out more or this is one of the joys of being a parent (I hope its the latter). We look forward to our visit home in a few weeks when everyone gets to see her again and some for the first time. We feel so blessed to have this precious girl in our life and so thankful that we can share her with our friends and family this Christmas.

Spring Mountain High

Today we drove into the mountains with Lola and took pictures in the snow. Gwen insisted that we listen to holiday music throughout the journey. Feliz Navidad has been blasted into our heads and the image of Gwen dancing in the front seat with a huge, toothy grin is now a permanent Christmas memory. It was a perfect 70 degree day with blue skies and beautiful scenery. We encountered deer, eagles, hikers, and snow. Once in the mountains, we had breakfast at a little lodge which consisted of bacon, waffles, potatoes, cheesy scrambled eggs, avocado omelets, and coffee. After a leisurely meal we got back into the car and went to higher altitudes. We found a short trail head near the ski slopes and took Lola for a short walk where we took more photos. For me, this was a perfect beginning to the holiday season and a family ritual that I look forward to continuing. Usually, Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo (South Park character) gets the two of us ready for the Christmas season. Mr. Hanky is a little turd that hosts a Christmas special.

A Movie with Real Bite

I just returned from seeing Let the Right One In and it is an incredible movie. I am too tired, uninspired, and lazy to write a quality review. Basically, the film is about a bullied twelve year old boy who unknowingly befriends a vampire that has been twelve for a long time. It is a horror movie and will keep you guessing and uncomfortable throughout. The relationship that develops between Eli (vampire) and Oskar (mortal) is touching. The cinematography is also beautiful as it is shot in some sleepy, wintry suburb in Sweden. This is a foreign film and these typically do not do well in American theaters and have a tendency to disappear after about a week. Go see this. I understand that many are thinking, "that's all good and well, but all of my vampire voids are filled with the Twilight machine (books, posters, dolls, candy, stickers, t-shirts, magazines, etc.)." Do yourself a favor and check this movie out.

A Hiking We Will Go

On Saturday morning, I kissed the baby and wife and walked out the door to travel a glorious 5 minutes down the road to some mountains on the other side of the highway and into the canyons with a friend. After about a fifteen minute walk we finally passed the teenager party pits with the charred wood, beer bottles, and bullet casings and into a place that looked as untraveled a place I have ever seen. We found a interesting geologic formation where we could pull rocks out and find fossils. We found all kinds of interesting fossilized critters. With each piece of limestone that I jarred loose I couldn't help but wonder how old the dust was that I was breathing. It reminded me of a sci-fi story where I would unwittingly release some long dormant strain of nastiness that would wipe out or alter all life on earth. Let's go mutants! We then hiked up a mountain with no trail and found more fossils in the exposed rock. It was one of the more challenging hikes that I've been on lately, but also one of the more interesting. There were signs of sheep everywhere. I plan on exploring further into the canyon this weekend.