Friday, February 29, 2008
To breastfeed or not to breastfeed...
This is the question consuming me these days. Actually, the choice never really seemed to be there. Lola has never latched on well and despite my efforts to breastfeed or at the very least, pump and bottle feed, I have been unsuccessful at both. This leaves me with many feelings including, guilt, sadness, and the worry that Lola is not getting the best nutrition possible. I know many moms choose not to breast feed, but for me, I had it all planned out. Lola had other plans. I have read books, spoke to nurses/specialists, and friends and family, but nothing I do seems to bring Lola any closer to breastfeeding. I have received support from friends and family, but now I am struggling with how to be OK with not breastfeeding. After everything I have been through with Lola, the pregnancy and birth, I never imagined that breastfeeding would be where it got hard. You always hear how natural this experience is, but for me, there was nothing natural about it. I realize this is not my usual post and more personal, but this has been weighing heavily on my heart and I needed to get it off my chest.
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2 comments:
I know you and I know how much that you wanted this but you should not feel like a failure. I trully believe that is comes easlier for some kids and moms than others. You have put alot of time and effort into this and given it more than the old college try. The best thing that you can give to Lola is a happy non-stressed out mom. If breast feeding/pumping is a source of stress and aniexty than it is not the best for either of you. And besides, you haven given her the best because you gave breast feeding your best (even if it didn't work). This is just the first of many things that, with kids, you will plan one thing and they will do just the opposite.
One more thing, YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!!!
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